It took me three separate visits to the article in the New York Times Opinion Page, posted on October 28, 2013 in order to finish reading the article. At the end of each section, I hit the delete button and swore I wouldn’t read any more. But then I wondered – maybe there is an a-ha moment later in the article, and so I went back to read more. There was no a-ha moment, just an unabashedly boastful proclamation about one author’s use of bribes and rewards to manipulate her children.
I can’t really describe how upsetting and confusing this article is for me. Don’t get me wrong, I understand this kind of article creates a real buzz out there in the world, just look at all the comments. But to paint such a disparaging picture of your own children and then share it with the world to what – boost subscriber-ship or ignite a fire storm of controversy? I have to be honest, I just do not get it. Here is what I find so distasteful about this article.
1. I am a mother who has raised 5 children. I can not for the life of me understand how a mother could show such little faith in her children’s innate desire to learn, master their environment, and contribute to the world in positive ways
Oh sure, I know kids have long moments of apathy, disinterest and being less than cooperative, but for the most part, when a supportive parent provides a nurturing environment, kids get about the business of learning, mastery and contribution with very little coaxing from anyone.
And I wonder, when her children are older, what they will think of this article and the lack of faith their mom had in them. Maybe they will understand and accept that it was her job or that she didn’t really mean what she wrote, but I have found, that you never know how a child is going to interpret a parent’s intention and I am not sure I would be willing to risk what is at stake here.
2. Does she really believe there will be a moment when her children no longer depend on bribes and rewards to do the unpleasant tasks we are all required to do as adults? Or are we, the unsuspecting public going to have to pay for her unwillingness to help her kids learn that sometimes, whether you like it or not, things need to be done and most people don’t care whether you do them with a smile or a pout on your face. That choice is entirely up to you.
It seems her kids are missing out on a few critical skills that would make their adult lives far more rewarding, fulfilling and satisfying. But again, maybe teaching those skills is someone else’s job.
3. And finally, I shudder to think how many other parents will be influenced by her position and subscribe to the idea that bribing and rewarding children in order to manipulate them and make their lives easier is a reasonable proposition, and forget, that these kids are the future leaders of the free world. Maybe she doesn’t hold high hopes that her kids will have the grit, mental muscle or interest in becoming leaders who lead by example.
I’m not really sure what the purpose of this article was – except maybe to piss a lot of us off, in which case, I think it worked brilliantly. But beyond that, I can’t see that it offers any real value to a parenting conversation that supports any of us in our effort to raise more thoughtful, resilient, responsible and respectful human beings.
Need a Job? Flynn parent Janet Coutrayer wants parents to know about a job opening at CHT. She says, "it could be great for moms or dads jumping back into the workplace or just because there is a lot of flexibility. It's a Home Education Counselor, but you don't have to have a counseling or lending background - basically anyone who would make a good counselor and uses those skills in their lives could make a good case. I now have a different position at CHT, but this is the job I took that moved me out of administrative assistant work to more direct service working with people." Might be interested? Contact Janet at harveycoutrayer@yahoo.com
Fifth Graders Ski FREE with the 5th grade Passport at SkiVermont Skiing and riding are magical sports and that can change lives, supporting healthier decisions and bonding experiences that can last a lifetime. There is no better time to fall in love with snow-covered mountains than during the final years of care-free adolescence. To help our youth get to the hills, we offer participating fifth graders up to 88 free days of skiing and riding at Vermont’s alpine and Nordic resorts. http://www.skivermont.com/events-and-deals/program-passport
UVM Kids & Parents research study is still looking for some families to participate in their study. Don't just talk about science - participate in a real life scientific study! You can also earn some cash for your time... If your child/family structure fits the criteria below you might want to participate.
* Participants are needed for the Kids & Parents research study – a study at the University of Vermont about families.
* We're looking for families to participate who have a 9- to 11-year-old child whose parents are married to each other.
* The study involves two 2- to 3-hour lab visits approximately 2 weeks apart (Visit 1: mother and child; Visit 2: mother, father, and child).
* Families will receive $100 for Visit 1 and $150 for Visit 2.
* To learn more, please call 802-656-4722.
School Board holds Public Forum on Redistricting and Board Make Up
The Burlington School Board is seeking voter opinion of what the composition of the school board should be under the City’s proposed redistricting plan (number of Commissioners and term of office).
The Board’s Ad Hoc Redistricting Committee is holding a public hearing on Monday, November 4, 2013 at 7 p.m. at the library in Hunt Middle School, 1364 North Avenue, entrance off of Gosse Court.
The Ad Hoc Committee will present four school board configurations that the Committee supports for discussion by the public and invites the public to offer comments on any additional options.
To get to the Hunt MS library, turn left at the front office, walk down the hall then take your first right hallway and the door to the library is on your left.
CONTACT:
Miriam Stoll, Chair, Ad Hoc Redistricting Committee
Jeanné Collins, Superintendent
Save the date...
November 4-18 - Food Drive (items can come in via backbacks and will be collected in the office)
November 7 - Picture re-take day for St. Joes and Flynn campus
November 7 - PTO meeting - 6:30 pm in the library
November 21 - Principal's Coffee
November 21,22,25 - Inquiry Fair for Grades 1 and 2 at St. Joes
November 27-29 - Thanksgiving break - No School!
December 5 - PTO Meeting
AGENDA
Flynn School PTO
Learning Center
November 7, 2013
Free Dinner and Childcare
6:15-6:30 - Come a little early if you want to enjoy a community style dinner and settle the kids into childcare.
6:30-8:00 - Meeting
WELCOME – Jessica Hook, PTO President
Principal’s Corner- Graham Clark (10 min)
Treasurer’s Report- Betsy Ward (5 min)
Fundraising- Tammy Kuypers (10 min)
Enrichment- Kate Belluche (10 min)
Landscape/Garden- Sarah DeShaw (5 min)
Flynn Family Nights - Heather Simmons (5 minutes)
Flynn Family Partnership- Shanta Eastman (10 min)
Room Parents- Lisa Tulkop (5 min)
Teacher Suggestion Box & Outerwear Swap – Christine Leithead (5 min)
OPEN FORUM (10 min)
Visiting is a program called the Musical Petting Zoo. The "Zookeeper," Rebecca Kopycinski, brings a variety of orchestral instruments into the 
